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Do I love others as Christ loved me?
I spent many years stuck in anxiety, fear, and panic attacks while also serving as a United Methodist pastor. It was eerie to stand up and share a message of love and grace that I fully believed, while also sensing a lion in the room about to pounce. One day, it finally got bad enough that I knew it was time to go deeper into my fear. Once I was ready to do the work, to befriend my fear and hear what it was trying to tell me, God invited me into all kinds of resurrections. A beautiful new life emerged that’s grounded in a deeper beauty of God. My identity has always been as a child of God. But taking this intentional step into the hidden parts of my life invited me to an altogether life, not just an almost life.
Today we ask: Do I love others as Christ loved me?
There are two parts here. Do I allow Christ to love me? Do I love others? The order of these two questions is crucial.
When we try to love others before allowing Christ to love us, we often struggle. When our identities are out of order, it’s tough to love others the way Christ loves us. It’s tempting to love out of a shallow source of strength. We love out of ego, our own effort, what we think is right, or what we see others do. This is not sustainable. We know it, but we often don’t pay attention to this as long as we think it’s mostly working. Yet when we allow Christ to love us, we can love others in a way that draws from the strength of this love.
How do we know the love we have for others draws strength from how Christ loves us? That’s a great question to reflect on. Sometimes I don’t know. At those times I rely on God’s grace that works so well in all my areas of pain and brokenness. Other times, I know by the love that bubbles up in my throat for someone that it comes from a place of unbreakable strength. It’s so strong that I know it comes from a divine source. Still other times, I trust and believe the love I share with others comes from how Christ loves me. It’s a step of faith to love someone I don’t understand or don’t like.
Our invitation this Advent and all year long is to rightsize our identity in Christ. As we continue our Advent journey, you’re invited to make a list of your identities in this season of life. You may be a son, daughter, mother, father, grandparent, child, friend, boss, employee, neighbor, leader, and more. Write down all the identities you hold. Consider putting them in order of their priority in your life. Do you spend more time being a boss than a friend? Is it a season where the parent role is central and the neighbor identity takes a back seat? Be honest. There’s no reason to sugarcoat it.
Which identity is at the top of your list? When your primary identity is as a child of God, then the act of loving others comes from a place of great depth. That’s the lesson I learned when I learned to lean into my anxiety and fear. It doesn’t mean it’s easy, but it’s possible and sustainable in a way our shallow strength can never handle. We burn out when we love from our false selves. We thrive when we love from our identities as children of God.
May you spend hushed moments with the One who made you today, receiving the love God longs to give you. Then may you love one person extravagantly well today!
Rev. Jenny Smith